A-Dub’s Thoughts
Thoughts of a wife and mother

Yesterday was a hard but great day.  I knew that because Uncle James was in town that Xavier would want to go hiking.  I wanted so badly to join my family on this adventure.  So knowing that my right leg had been feeling very tight and tender, I did something that I thought I would never do….I had my first massage.  She did a great job.  She understood the needs of my muscles and that I have tender points.  She worked for 40 minutes on my leg to release the muscle.   I should have done this a long time ago.

When I got home we took a hike in the trails that are just behind our house.  The views from the top of the hills are great.  The first part of the trail was not a walking trial but a quad trail which made it difficult to walk up, at least for me, the three mountain goats I was with seem do fine with it.  Once we were on the right hiking trails they were great.  I did forget my inhaler, my bad.  But James to the rescue, I could breathe again and continue.

I am so glad the I have been able to get out and enjoy the outdoors with my family again.  I am looking forward the becoming the person I know I want to be and that is somewhere inside of me.

Yesterday Xavier had a school field trip to the Phoenix Zoo.  I was looking forward to being out with my family but not to the pain that would come later.  So I took some precautions in the morning and at lunch and it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.  I did however come home and sleep for 12 hours and I am still feeling the effects form the miles of walking and the bike ridding that we did.

I did realize yesterday that I have miss the way Aaron and I use to be,  afternoon walks and bike rides near the beach.  Those were the days.

I haven’t written in a while.  Some can say I have been lazy but in reality not much has changed.  Last week I felt like I was finally getting a couple of “human” days.  Then as I always fall prey to it, wanted to get things done.  I started to get the house back to the way I love it.  And now I am paying the price.  My lower half of my body is feels as though it’s muscles have been put through a taffy puller.  When I lay in bed at night my limbs start to feel heavy and become so hard to move.  I feel sorry for Aaron, I don’t want him to feel neglected because I love him so much, for everything he is to me and what he has done for me, but when I my body feels this way I can’t stand to be touched or for him to show love to me.  I hate this part because I see the pain in his eyes and I so want to show him how much I care but when it is so hard and painful to move, I am really in between a rock and a hard place.

I have had better days lately, but the last three days were a little rough.  We are moving through them.  I am so thankful that I have a family that can be here for me to help me when I am down and have fun with me when I am wanting to get out of the house.

I haven’t posted lately and that has a lot to do with how I have been feeling.  I have had a lot of bad days.  Aaron went to Boston for a week and luckily his mom was able to come out and spend the week with us.  I don’t think I would have made it without her.  She helped me out with a lot and I couldn’t thank her enough.  Then, poor Aaron had to have his wisdom teeth pulled so both of us have been kinda on the lower end of great.  But he has been the best, as always.

Before, Aaron went to Boston he bought me a scrapbooking desk to put in our bedroom.  I have been able to get back my destresser, which is great.  What a great gift!

I am hoping to be able to scrapbook more soon, as soon as my arms and hands stop being such a pill.  I think in my stretching I have over done it and I am paying for it.  I am trying to take it a little easier.  As Aaron says, he wants me to make a budget of my energy and only pay out to the most important “bills”.  We will see how the next couple of weeks go.