A-Dub’s Thoughts
Thoughts of a wife and mother

I try not to think of what is wrong with me but lately I have found it quite funny.  So I thought I would post a list; so here I go…

Chronic Epstein-Barr Syndrome

Fybromyalgia

Alice in Wonderland Syndrome

Spina Bifida – Occulta

Hyperglycemia

Possible Crohn’s Post Infectious IBS

Chronic Migraines (Cluster, Hormonal, Frontal Lobe)

Chronic UTIs and Kidney Infections

Nervous Jerks

Brain “Fog”

Loose Ligaments in the Knees and Ankles (One now requires surgery)

Incredibly sensitive skin (Allergies to common things like: Tea tree, Heavy Aloe, etc.)

These are the things that I can name, I have other little idiosyncrasies that come and go like ringing in my ears, tingling in my limbs and face but none of those have names.

So, I hope you enjoyed my little game of how many things I could name.  I did!

God Made Me Sepical…if that is what you would call it.  Ha!

On Thursday I had to go to an orthopedic foot surgeon because I had fallen in church about a month ago.  I had been so busy that I just now had time to have it looked at.  I took the MRI that Dr. Kapur (my PCP) took last week with me and told him that I have always had weak ankles.  He took another X-Ray and did some tests on my ankles and was very surprised that I have never had therapy.  He called my ankles and my knees “floppy”.  I know!  What a medical term.

So he goes on to explain that I have ripped the ligament away from the ankle with a small piece of bone.  So I am going to have surgery to have that small chip removed and the ligament tighten and put back.  He said after that I will have to start therapy on my ankles.  He hopes that this works otherwise it back to surgery. Blah.

So yet again we have something else different with me.

Yesterday was a hard but great day.  I knew that because Uncle James was in town that Xavier would want to go hiking.  I wanted so badly to join my family on this adventure.  So knowing that my right leg had been feeling very tight and tender, I did something that I thought I would never do….I had my first massage.  She did a great job.  She understood the needs of my muscles and that I have tender points.  She worked for 40 minutes on my leg to release the muscle.   I should have done this a long time ago.

When I got home we took a hike in the trails that are just behind our house.  The views from the top of the hills are great.  The first part of the trail was not a walking trial but a quad trail which made it difficult to walk up, at least for me, the three mountain goats I was with seem do fine with it.  Once we were on the right hiking trails they were great.  I did forget my inhaler, my bad.  But James to the rescue, I could breathe again and continue.

I am so glad the I have been able to get out and enjoy the outdoors with my family again.  I am looking forward the becoming the person I know I want to be and that is somewhere inside of me.

Yesterday Xavier had a school field trip to the Phoenix Zoo.  I was looking forward to being out with my family but not to the pain that would come later.  So I took some precautions in the morning and at lunch and it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.  I did however come home and sleep for 12 hours and I am still feeling the effects form the miles of walking and the bike ridding that we did.

I did realize yesterday that I have miss the way Aaron and I use to be,  afternoon walks and bike rides near the beach.  Those were the days.

I haven’t written in a while.  Some can say I have been lazy but in reality not much has changed.  Last week I felt like I was finally getting a couple of “human” days.  Then as I always fall prey to it, wanted to get things done.  I started to get the house back to the way I love it.  And now I am paying the price.  My lower half of my body is feels as though it’s muscles have been put through a taffy puller.  When I lay in bed at night my limbs start to feel heavy and become so hard to move.  I feel sorry for Aaron, I don’t want him to feel neglected because I love him so much, for everything he is to me and what he has done for me, but when I my body feels this way I can’t stand to be touched or for him to show love to me.  I hate this part because I see the pain in his eyes and I so want to show him how much I care but when it is so hard and painful to move, I am really in between a rock and a hard place.